If it takes you a while to convince your partner to agree to shoot a private, erotic video with you then you can hardly expect her to behave in ‘wild abandon’ during the lovemaking shoot. However, there are ways you can bring out that wild side of hers even if it’s your first time to shoot an x-rated video together. How? Try role-playing scenarios!

X-Rated Video Role-playing Ideas You Can Try Tonight

Role-playing is a great way to enable your partner to get out of her shell and shed her shyness. This is because with role-playing, she gets to be ‘another person’ and as such will not be as reserved or inhibited on camera. Here are some of the most common role-playing scenarios lovers all over the world love to try!

Teacher/Student

In this scenario, take the dominating role. Let your partner be the student who needs to submit to you. Actually, this is good if she’s still shy as she only needs to follow whatever naughty thing you tell her to do. Furthermore, this scenario may be done outside the bedroom, like on the kitchen table or dining table or any sturdy table or desk, which ups the role-playing factor.

Service Worker/Housewife

This is another great role-playing idea to adapt if your partner still has a few inhibitions. You can play the cable guy or plumber, who simply wants to give a bored housewife the attention she deserves. For a wicked twist, DON’T tell your partner that you’ll be coming home in the middle of the day. (But of course, setup the video equipment beforehand.) Just knock on the door at 2 or 3 PM, catching your partner unawares and see where it goes!

Hooker or Stripper and Her Client

In this scenario, you can be the laid-back partner, and she the dominant one. This scenario can start with her entering the room and being all ‘slutty’ for you. She can then do a lap dance for you or do a pole dance routine using one of your bed posts! The nice part here is that she gets to wear sexy clothes or even put on a mask, which may help clear away any remaining inhibitions.

Top Model/Photographer

This scenario actually helps your partner to be more comfortable in front of the camera before you guys start lovemaking. Set up the scene like a real photo shoot, where she needs to pose in front of you and the camera. Slowly ask her to remove her clothes as the photo shoot progresses. You know what to do once she takes off her last piece of garment…

Masseuse/Client

This role-playing scenario is great as it paves the way for you (or her) to receive a sexual massage first! Just imagine her kneading your tight, tired muscles; using slick, perfumed massage oil all over your body, culminating on your genitals, and then just as you’re rock hard, she gets on top of you! I’m sure you can think of ways to return the favor…

Doctor/Patient

Probably one of the most common role-playing scenarios couples play is the doctor/patient one. Why? Well, imagine all the ‘examinations’ and ‘poking’ the doctor needs to do to all over you’re the patient to find out what’s wrong!

Soccer Star / Cheerleader

Do you both love to sport? If so, being the soccer stud secretly making love to the top cheer leader is a fantasy not far behind! You can even do this after going to the gym or after running together. Practical, huh?

Maid / Client

There’s something quite irresistible about illicit sex. Even though this will be make believe as you will be making love to each other, still, the thought of her as a hapless maid or house help trying to evade the advances of her employer only to give in, leaves a lot to a sexually active imagination! Start by having her on video as cleaning the bedroom and gradually walk into the bedroom yourself. Make sexual advances on her. She may refuse at the start or adopt a “I thought you’d never come” look and then see where this goes!

Another role-playing thing to try is of course bondage and dominatrix scenarios. You may want to try this out later on but for x-rated video beginners this may not be the right time for this. First you need to build your confidence and comfort in front of the camera and your trust in each other. Once you guys have improved on these fronts, then bondage and dominatrix games are great new things to further spice up your relationship.

Enjoy!

Sarah

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Performance anxiety is commonly misinterpreted as “stage fright”, but there is a reason for it. It has been stated, that “the whole world is a stage” and we are willing or unwilling participants in it. Performing artists like musicians, singers, actors and speakers have faced this enemy during their careers and braved them one way or another.

But this enemy is very common in human relationships too and particularly ferocious when it comes to sex. Men face this enemy every time they are about to have sex and there is one reason which makes this anxiety almost unbearable: will I last long enough to satisfy my partner?

How to Make Sure You Don’t Orgasm Before She Does

1. Prolong the foreplay.

Instead of plowing away once the sex really gets going, take your time to caress your partner and explore her body with your other extremities. While the male organ seems to be the only arousal point on a man’s body, women have these sensitive areas all over the place.

Her reaction to your probing will give you a fairly good idea where they are. While she approaches ecstasy with your every successful exploration, you not only learn your partner’s secret areas, but also preserve your own stamina for the final battle.

2. Encourage her to speak up and tell you what turns her on.

Conversation is a very important part of the whole sexual experience. This time though, you want to encourage her to tell you what REALLY turns her on. Clever sexual innuendos during pre-sex time and gentle inquiries during sex not only give you vital information, but stimulate your partner’s fantasy, which makes her hornier, which makes her reach her orgasm faster! Just before you reach your own…

3. Oral sex

Spicing things up by pleasuring or “heating up” your partner with oral stimulation gives you time to breath. While orally satisfying a woman is requiring a keen ear to your partner’s needs and leads, it may be the last resort for your premature curtain call. It is not a solution to “take a break” during sex. While it may help you, you probably will have to start with your partner from square one. Switching to oral sex gives you the needed break without interrupting your partner’s pleasure cruise.

4. Know your own body.

Japanese Geisha’s are known to be able to bring a man to ecstasy without having him prematurely end the fun. If they can do that, you can too IF you know your own body.

Knowing your body’s primary arousal points can help you last longer if you avoid… for now. Another trick is to squeeze the base of your shaft right before the Big Ben strikes ten on the top and the bottom side. If you do it right, it stops you cold.

A good physical condition is also helpful in enduring the physical task of keeping it up longer; do not underestimate your muscles’ participation in your endurance quest. Ask your partner to assist you in this self-discovery and sex will never get boring.

5. An honest and open relationship.

Tell your partner about your anxiety and let her know that you want to last longer to give her more pleasure. While this is most of the time not possible when you are in bed for the first time with a new partner, once you are an item and sex gets to be a somewhat regular pastime, honesty is the way to go.

6. If it all fails, do it again!

Leonardo Da Vinci’s first painting was not the Mona Lisa and even when he was painting the masterpiece he did not get it right the first time. Multiple layers have been discovered by x-ray technology procedures, documenting that even the Master himself needed several tries to get it right.

By exploring your own limits and practicing as often as you both feel like will lead to more confidence, more pleasure, more mutual acceptance and trust, and ultimately more endurance and better sex for both of you.

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This may come as a shock to you but sex is really pretty boring IF you end up following a routine. So how do you avoid this? Don’t be afraid to use your imagination! That is why most people say that the brain – not the genitals – is the most important sex organ.

And when you use your imagination, it’s equally important to apply your ‘naughty thoughts’ on your woman’s erogenous zones. Erogenous zones are those unique places in her body that generate sexual arousal when stimulated. And so if you know her erotic zones and apply your lustful imagination on them, you can make having sex with her a whole-body experience instead of just engaging in sex that’s limited to her genitals.

Erogenous zones are also important to know when you are giving her a sexual massage!

Know Her ‘Hot Buttons’

So do you know your woman’s sweet sex spots? Here’s a quick rundown of what they may likely be and what you can do to it during a sexual massage.

Her Breasts.

Ok, her breasts may not be a big erogenous zone secret for you but do you know how to handle them properly during a sexual massage? Most women find men too rough when it comes to fondling their breasts. And more so during sexual massage! So what do you do?

First of all, remember that the goal of a sexual massage is to de-stress while heightening sexual desire. So the general rule is to handle her body with TLC (tender loving care).

When it comes to her breasts, this is what you should do during your sexual massage session: avoid putting your whole hand over her breast. Using your index fingers, lightly press on her nipples as you would press a sensitive buzzer. First use dry fingers, then lick your index fingers and push down again.

The fact that she does not feel anything except your index finger on her nipple will send shivers through her body! And because you’re not touching her anywhere else (avoid any other body contact), her body is still in total relaxation (while her mind is already advancing towards sex).

Now, after about 10 ‘finger presses’, very lightly lick her nipple. Do not overdo this, just give her butterfly licks. After about 10 licks on each breast, stop and go to other hot zones.

Her Armpit.

Another erogenous zone is her armpit. Lick this during the sexual massage and she will feel delirious and lustful! To make sure that this is not unpleasant for you. Prepare a wet, hot towel before you start the sexual massage and use it to wipe her armpit before you start licking gently.

Do the ‘Dip’

From her upper torso, gently move towards sexually massaging her by doing “The Dip”. Put her arms above her head then position your arms under her shoulder (as if you were embracing her in bed). This position will ‘open’ her body to you. Breathe warmly against her collarbone, kiss the side of each breast and then position your tongue between her breasts.

From this position, lick her all the way down, passing her stomach, belly button, belly and then ending with a quick ‘dip’ in her genitals!

Her Foot.

This is the proper position when you start focusing on her feet: have her bend her knees and spread her legs a bit. This vulnerable position will already bring images of sex to her mind. You then kneel between her legs and lift one of her legs so that you can massage her foot. Put a lot of warm, massage oil on your hands and then slowly knead her feet. At the end of your massage, breathe against the sole of her feet. Your warm breath will both relax and sexually stimulate her.

Her Toes.

Toes are often neglected erogenous zones! The proper way to sexually massage toes is this: clean off any oil on and between her toes with a soft, wet and warm towel. Hold her big toe, run your thumb against its sole (out a bit of pressure) and follow through with a quick like. Do this for each toe. The next step is to slowly and seductively suck each toe!

Her Butt.

Have your woman lie on her back. Put some warm oil on your hands and gently massage her ass, kneading lightly. After this, progress to kissing them and licking them. And then just when she’s so relaxed, comfortable or maybe even about to drift off, part her buttocks and lick her anus. This will send her a sexual charge like no other!

Proceed to licking her crack and when you notice that she’s getting too excited. Turn her over and let the love-making begin!

The fact that you’re bodies are both slick from the massage oil and glistening in the dark makes love-making even more exciting.

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There are many tools a woman can use to increase her libido. There are many natural sex drive killers but if you understand these potential problems there are solutions. Below in this article we highlight problems and ways a woman can overcome these issues and increase her libido.

1. Relationship Issues

If there is any ill feeling towards a partner it has to be addressed. If an issue or conflict is left unresolved it will lead to a dampening of desire as can secrets or if you are emotionally upset for some reason.

When you are carrying negative feelings about a partner, your level of attraction for that person can wane dramatically an even in some severe cases never return. It can be as simple as a lack of appropriate hygiene, or something more complex, such as infidelity; whatever the case issues have to be addressed and dealt with before you can feel sexual again towards your partner.

Communication is the key to a good relationship. If you don’t talk to your partner, resentment will grow with you partner and eventually result in an all out conflict. If talking to one another doesn’t work then maybe it means trying a counsellor or therapist to move things in a positive direction.

If that doesn’t work then maybe it is time to see a sex therapist as there maybe problems that are deep rooted that even you are not aware of. I am afraid to say though if all else fails then it may just mean that a relationship has run its course and it is time to say goodbye. It maybe a sad moment but sex is an important part of your life and a relationship and you must enjoy it.

2. Body Complex

No one is ever one hundred percent satisfied with their own body as I have covered in other articles. It maybe those extra large love-handles or those bingo wings or maybe even an issue with your small breasts.

The truth is that to feel positive about sex then you must be happy with your own body. As I have said we all have imperfections (perceived or real) and it time to accept them and live with them. If you can’t then you may need to take some further action.

3. Getting Older

Age catches up with us all and does take a toll on our bodies. There is a loss of bone mass, susceptibility to illness, painful joints, grey hair, sagging flesh and the list goes on. Menopause and decreased testosterone (yes in women too) production are the reasons for decrease in libido but fear, anxiety and depression from aging can contribute too.

If you are going through the menopause, it is important that you understand the changes taking place in your own body. It may mean seeking out your doctor about treatment for the physical changes that are taking place and affecting the sex drive.

The use of Estrogens in any forms can increase blood flow to the vagina and increase arousal thus leading to increased desire. Hormone therapy that includes low dose androgens has been shown to be particularly effective at increasing low libido. There may even be something as easy as the use of lubricants to get an immediate effect if you are experiencing vaginal dryness.

4. Sexual Abuse

Those people that have been unfortunate to suffer sexual abuse can later then have a difficult time with physical intimacy. It is a natural reaction and it takes time and understanding for both the mind and boy to deal with these painful experiences, but there is little attention paid to our sexuality.

Please if this applies to you know that many people who have suffered sexual assault have gone on to have healthy and full sexual relationships. It takes time, patience, understanding and some counselling. This cannot be rushed and you must take your time and only become intimate when you are ready too! Never ever let anyone pressure you into something you feel uncomfortable about.

5. Medication

It is widely known that the effect of birth control pills (also when combined with oral contraceptives) leads to a lowered libido. The decreased androgen production or lowered testosterone levels can cause women to experience a lower libido and less vaginal lubrication.

There are other medications that also dampen desire such as tranquilisers, high blood pressure pills and mood stabilizer amongst many. It must also be noted that even mediation that isn’t anyway connected to sexual; arousal can have an adverse affect on sexual desire. When talking to your doctor about any new medication and finding that it may alter your libido it might be best to ask if there maybe a viable alternative.

Depression seems to be a part of modern life. If you are feeling down and cannot shake the feeling it may mean you have depression. If you feel this way then it maybe time to see you doctor. Depression will make many people listless, drowsy, sad, angry, upset and very emotional. Depression will have a very noticeable effect on libido. It is known that as many as seventy five percent of people with depression also suffer a lowered sex drive.

The very drugs that are used to treat depression (MAOI’s, SSRI’s and tricyclics) can also lead to sexual dysfunction, such as a delay in orgasm and lead to an adverse affect on the level of sexual desire.

There have been changes in the last few years that have given hope to people in this situation. There are drugs such as Viagra(r) with antidepressants. Then there may be the use of herbal remedies such a Ginkgo Bilboa, which is thought to help with lack of desire related to taking Paxil or other antidepressants. The there may also be Wellbutrin that has been shown to combat reduced sexual desire.

Please, though whatever you decide or look into always consult you doctor before any changing of medication or stopping your medications.

6. Medical Problems

There are many numbers of medical disorders that can lower libido such as a thyroid problem or hormone deficiency (especially in older people). A metabolic disorder; anything that adversely affects you metabolism (including an eating disorder, accident, trauma or illness) will obviously cause a lowered libido; it is also true to note that one in five American women have hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD), more comely know as a low sex drive.

If you have ruled out all other reasons to why you have a low sex drive then consult you doctor. You may have a readily curable medical condition.

Conclusion

There isn’t such a thing as a normal libido we are all different and have different sex drives. If you feel frustrated by lack of sexual appetite, take it easy. . Your personal sense of normality is defined by how you feel about your sexuality and whether or not you’re happy with how you are expressing it.

If you are comfortable about your sexuality then congratulations; if however you feel that you may need a gentle push; then explore the remedies suggested here. There is though no miracle cure some of the suggestions here have worked for other people but may not work for you. It may just take time and patience. It may mean just going solo for a while with a sex toy or eating a piece of chocolate. Hey girls chocolates is an aphrodisiac after all!

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Hi all!

I´m so excited!

It´s 2008… a year that will be LIFE-CHANGING for you.

How do I know?

I “just know”!

But remember, 2008 WILL be a life-changing year ONLY if you make the right DECISIONS.

In order to change, you need to decide first…

So here´s my advice:

1. Make a list of all the BIG changes you want to make in your life (the BIG ones!);

2. Decide which BIG decisions you have to make in order to achieve them;

3. Take action!

Please PROMISE ME that 2008 will be a LIFE-CHANGING year (it´s up to you!)

I want to wish you a VERY happy (and VERY sensual) new year!

Love and kisses!

Sarah Torbay

Let´s be honest: The key to seduction is to understand where feelings of lust, desire, and attraction originate in the woman’s brain.

You see, our brain has evolved over millions of years, through a series of stages each one added upon the last.

The first, most primal part of our brain is the brain stem, which is the oldest and smallest region in the human brain. Our brain stem controls various processes such as breathing, our heartbeat, and the flight or fight response.

The second part of our brain, wrapped around the basic brain stem and having evolved later, is the limbic brain. The limbic brain is responsible for women’s core emotional experiences including lust, desire, and attraction. Lacking language, the limbic brain is both impulsive and instinctual. It’s sometimes called the pleasure center because sexual stimuli that we experience pass directly to it.

Later, over millions of years, layers of more sophisticated reasoning have been added on top of the limbic brain. The newest part of our brain, the neo-cortex, is considered the rational brain that provides logic and thought, allowing for speaking, planning and critical judgment.

To understand you will need to learn how to directly stimulate the limbic brain of a woman and bypass her neo-cortex, which rationalizes reasons to hesitate or shut down sexual urges or judge you based on your looks or social status in an effort to not appear like a “slut.”

In other words, by dealing exclusively with a woman’s limbic brain, you’re directly communicating to where her feelings of lust and mating begin rather than communicating in a way that triggers resistance and critical judgment in her.

That’s why an unattractive or financially limited man can still create attraction in women by sexually stimulating their limbic brain through Nonverbal Sexual Cuing.

In summary you will need to learn:

- How to use physical intrusion of intimate space to electrify sexual chemistry between you and your woman.

- How to play your voice like a musical instrument to create sexual rapport through vibrant resonance, sexy tempo, and smooth tonality to make women fall in love with your voice as soon as you start talking to her.

- The difference between the smile “look” and the smile “act” for creating sexual rapport and connection in an intimate encounter and from across a room.

- The three secrets of body language to make your woman instantly comfortable around you.

- How to initiate physical contact to create sexual connection and rapport.

- How to eliminate the negative repulsion factor that women are biologically 100 times more sensitive to than men, and that most guys are giving off without even knowing it.

This method is definitely amazing, and I will help you!

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Foreplay is not something to be rushed. In fact, the longer the suspense, the tighter the tension, the hotter the passion!

You see, if you are trying to put foreplay back into your lives and then rush through it, then you are undermining its importance. Instead, plan for a night of passion you and your partner won’t forget.

Start the day right. Start foreplay the minute your partner wakes up. For women, try leaving erotica (a Kama Sutra-type book always works!) by the bedside or ‘accidentally’ leave a pair of black (or red) thongs on the bed. Titillate his imagination!

For men, leave a dirty magazine under the pillow or on the bed. The ‘accidentally leaving your underwear’ thing doesn’t work for men as successfully as for women though. Instead, wake up with, er… an erection and be sure your partner sees it or ‘accidentally’ comes into contact with it.

I guarantee your partner will wake up with thoughts of sex in the air! (There you go; foreplay has begun!)

Now continue this ‘teasing’. For example, you can let your robe fall off after the shower or go out of the shower completely naked (say you forgot to bring a towel or clothes or something…). Don’t be shy to make ‘poses’ while naked! Bend over, stretch, or even rub yourself lightly. Do this innocently but be sure your partner sees it!

Be unreachable but don’t be mean. At this point, your partner’s thoughts may already be about sex, don’t give in! Play hard to get. However, don’t be mean. Some people tease to the point where his/her partner is so hot already that if you don’t give in, they get frustrated! Worse, they see it as rebuke. You don’t want that! You should be able to tease ‘to a point of return’.

The ‘Excuse Me’ Tip!

Here’s a tip from one of my readers. Sometimes, when she wakes up in the morning, she teases her man by trying to get out of bed on HIS side. So she says “excuse me” and then she just HAS to get on top of him right? And while there, a little ‘dry rubbing’ goes on and soon enough, he gets hot. She then gives him a wet kiss, gets up and says “See you tonight honey…” coyly.

(It works for men also!)

Maintain the sexual tension. Now that you’ve started foreplay, maintain the tension. Most people make the mistake of thinking that because their partners were ‘hot’ this morning, they will be in exactly the same state that night. Wrong!

So how do you keep your partner longing for you during the day? Try these tricks.

• Send an x-rated email or link to an x-rated site and say “Look at what [name of friend or colleague] sent me today!”
• Send an email or SMS saying “Honey, [name of porn film] is in at the store/video rent house today. Shall I get it?”
• Send a picture SMS of yourself with… barely anything on.

Set the stage appropriately. The stage can be a hotel room or simply at home. You MUST take the personality traits of your partner here.

If he/she is the romantic type, then spread rose petals on the floor and on the bed, chill the champagne, and light 100 scented candles! However, here’s the real-life truth: many people are not like this. Some think this is ‘over the top’ or ‘too corny’. So don’t try to recreate a romantic movie scene here if it doesn’t suit you or your partner.

If he/she is more the ‘practical’ type, then hold off on the scattered flower petals and simply go for a fresh bouquet of red roses and put them in a vase in the living room and another in the bedroom. Instead of champagne, go for your partner’s favorite wine or hard-to-get, imported beer! Instead of 100 scented candles, go for few lighted ones placed strategically in your home. Be subtle but make the changes stand out nonetheless.

Practical Tips!

Please don’t try and create a romantic setting if you have not taken care of a few basic things such as getting rid of the kids and doing some basic room cleaning. I tell you, it ruins the mood!

Seriously, if you have kids, it really pays to have them stay at grandma’s for the night. I guarantee you’ll be amazed at how uninhibited and abandoned your partner will be in bed!

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Hi all!

You have NO IDEA how important “Thanksgiving Day” is to me…

Do you know why?

For 1 reason ONLY:

Because I can thank YOU (yes YOU) for letting me share tips and techniques to improve your SEX life.

(If you don´t celebrate Thanksgiving Day in your country, I STILL want to say THANKS!)

I want to say THANK YOU for:

- Giving a meaning to my life;
- Letting me be part of your MOST intimate moments;
- Allowing me to share with you my experience and advice;

And most important:

- For letting me help you IMPROVE your SEX life every day!

Thanks… Thanks so much!

And finally, please let me give you a recommendation today.

Get everything ready for a sensual moment with your partner tonight. Have the most ROMANTIC and WILD sex (yes, both at the same time) with her.

And after you BOTH enjoy a mind-blowing orgasm… grab your partner´s hands and say:

“Thank you for being part of my life… Happy Thanksgiving Day”!

Please promise that you will do it…

Have a VERY SENSUAL Thanksgiving Day!

Your friend,

Sarah

Men who truly amaze their partners in bed know a little secret: great sex doesn’t start in the bedroom. If you want to turn things up in the bedroom, then you need to set the stage in advance. And that means doing a little advance planning and putting together an incredible experience she’s not going to forget.

First, you’ve got to be alone. Your partner may have sex in your bedroom with the door closed even when the kids are asleep in the next room but she’s not truly going to get into the moment when there’s a chance of waking them up or having them walk in. So your first job is to schedule some alone time with her. And that doesn’t just mean you’ve got to leave the kids somewhere else – that also means friends, parents, co-workers, everybody who could interfere in what you’ve got planned have to be out of the picture. If you’re thinking it’s impossible, just imagine how amazing the night is going to be with just the two of you alone enjoying each other with more abandon than you’ve ever imagined. I’m guessing you’ll find the motivation you need.

Second, create a romantic interlude for her. Women aren’t only seduced through their bodies. If you want to truly make all of her body come alive to your touch, then you have to start by turning her on mentally and that’s going to require a little romance.

Let’s look at two scenarios which could make the bedroom a much more fun place for the two of you tonight.

Idea #1

Start off by preparing a fabulous meal for her while she’s gone at work. If you’re not the world’s greatest cook, don’t worry. Cook whatever you know how to make – it’s not the meal itself but the idea of the meal that will work magic. Now when she’s on her way home, turn off all the lights and instead light a trail of candles which will lead her into the dining room. Have the table set with more candles. You can serve white or champagne but avoid any hard liquor because alcohol make release your inhabitations but it also dampens the performance for both partners and that’s definitely not how you want the evening to end.

Before you serve a delicious dessert, sneak up stairs and draw her a warm bubble bath. Surround the tub with lighted candles and lower the lights. Once she’s finished eating, lead her up the stairs and slowly undress her for the bath. Then give her a bath. Move slowly over her body, paying particular attention to all of her erogenous zones. Don’t concentrate too much on her breasts at first. Wait until she’s clearly getting exciting before you suds them or make your way between her thighs.

After the bath, towel her dry and start the foreplay. By now, she’s both mentally and physically prepared to enjoy a full evening of enjoying your body as much as you were enjoying hers.

Idea #2

If your partner is a little more adventurous, plan a romantic interlude that won’t end in the bedroom but somewhere even more erotic. Make reservations at her favorite restaurant and arrange to take her there as a surprise. Over dinner, slip away to the “bathroom” then call her cell phone. When she answers, use your deepest, sexiest voice to outline all of the ways you want to pleasure her for the evening. Be explicit. Women can be very easily stimulated this way because we have incredibly vivid imaginations, especially of the men we’re sleeping with. Don’t think she has spent long hours picturing the two of you in some pretty hot situations before.

After dinner, drive to somewhere secluded. Have a CD playing that sets the mood – you can either choose romantic ballads or something a little sexier depending on what helps turn her on the most. Now bring out your secret weapon: a battery-powered vibrator. Lean her seat back and slide the vibrator inside of her. All the while, whisper in her ear about what you’ve still got in store for her. Pretty soon, she’ll be practically (and maybe literally) begging you to come inside of her.

And that’s the moment you do exactly what she asks. If you can’t get comfortable in the car, get a room at the closest motel you can find and spend the rest of the night finding out just how many orgasms you’re both capable of having.

For more SENSUAL ideas, click here…

It is natural throughout life for a woman to experience changes in their libido. It can be like a roller coaster ride. One minute your up and can get enough. The next minute you are down. There are many influences that can affect the libido of a woman. It can be anything from a change in lifestyle to a certain medicine that has been prescribed.

In tackling the issue of libido I have put together a list of the most universal reasons (and solutions) for a waning in a woman’s libido; it maybe possible to correct the circumstances with a few simple lifestyle changes.

Note of Introduction

Libido/Sex Drive vs. Sexual Arousal

There’s a large difference between sexual desire and physical arousal: Desire (or libido) refers to your interest in sex, while arousal relates to your body’s physical response, such as

vaginal lubrication or clitoral erection. There can be a relationship between a woman’s libido and sexual arousal as those women with a greater libido often find it easier to get aroused. The opposite is also true with those women with a lower libido finding it much harder to get aroused. The whole idea then is to increase the sex drive and thus your body will respond by being aroused much easier.

Below we list nine reasons that may lower sex drive and suggest ways that may help you boost you libido.

1. Situation and Lifestyle

The older we women get the more responsibilities that we have to handle. When we were younger most of us had higher sex drives that can take as huge fall when we get older. The time between work, kids, friendships, hobbies and homemaking doesn’t leave much time for sex. Then when you find you have a litlle spare time often the last things you feel is sexual or in need of any sexual contact; women often just want to read a good book, watch some TV or catch up on a little sleep. It not that us ladies don’t want to have sex it has just some how become a low priority.

Ladies we must all remember that sex is a very important part of any adult relationship. It may mean you have to be a little practical and schedule sex into the calendar. This may sound a little funny but if that is the only way to make sure that you have a chance for lovemaking then it must be done.

Assign one or two nights a week when you spend quality romantic time with oyur partner. It time to kick things up a notch: For example take turns bringing something new into the bedroom. such as sex toy, illustrated book, video ir technique. The idea about scheduling tie together is so that you’re making a commitment and also allows you to get a mind set of what is going to happen. It gives you mind and body time to prepare and will help find it helps you when sexual arousal enters the equation as you will be more ready for it then coming in cold.

2. Mindset – Anxiety, Stress and Fear

Sex is the last ting on a woman’s mind when she is stressed, anxious or has some fears. It could be work related, a relationship issue, family or money problems and they can really lower drastically a woman’s libido.

How can any girl feel sexy when she has to worry about mortgage repayments. Fear and anxiety associated with sex itself can also cause problems. In the modern world there are fears of STD’s or of getting pregnant, they all can affect the libido and lower he chances of having a rewarding sexual experience.

The way to conquer stress, fear and anxiety is to firstly ensure that the body is healthy. It is up to you to look after you body by eating right, drinking plenty of water, taking regular exercise or even practicing relaxation techniques such as yoga or meditation.

Listen girls, it may seem like hard work but if you are not doing it for your health then do it for your sex lives. The next step is to strengthen the mind by doing things you are good for you such as reading, doing a crossword, talking to friends, kids and your partner and writing in a journal. If you have a healthy body and mind you will become much more capable to deal with the problems in the bedroom.

If you’ve tried these methods and still feel that anxiety and fear are detrimental your libido, it may be time to seek qualified help. If you are secure with the thought, attempt to talk to a sex therapist. Otherwise a psychologist, life coach or marriage counsellor as they can help you feel better and enjoy sex more.

3. Routine and Boredom

It is easy to get stuck in a groove and familiarity can be a big libido killer. Many women’s ideal is to be in a monogamous relationship but after 20 years it is perfectly normal to be bored

or uninspired by your partner. By this time you have tried most things and have ruled out or forgotten about anything you haven’t tried. This can also apply to couples who have been dating for less than six months as they too can get into a sexual rut after the first flush of puppy love has gone away. It can end up with you using the missionary position every time you get it on like on a Monday, Wednesday and Saturday night. It is fine but everyone needs a bit of variety and spontaneity in their lives.

It is time now to get back to basics and to those sexual routes. Try to approach sex as a brand new experience and forget about everything that you like and don’t like. Approach you partner and talk about what you want to try in bed. It might be that you just need to introduce something new to the bedroom. There are many ways to re-invigorate your sex life; buy a sex toy and use with your mate, watch sexy videos and try to recreate the scene, read or look through some illustrated sex guides. There maybe some initial embarrassment or unease with your new experiences together, but if you can keep an open mind you will soon find that your new found experiences lead to much more fun and satisfaction.

4. Relationship Issues

If there is any ill feeling towards a partner it has to be addressed. If an issue or conflict is left unresolved it will lead to a dampening of desire as can secrets or if you are emotionally upset for some reason. When you are carrying negative feelings about a partner, your level of attraction for that person can wane dramatically an even in some severe cases never return. It can be as simple as a lack of appropriate hygiene, or something more complex, such as infidelity; whatever the case issues have to be addressed and dealt with before you can feel sexual again towards your partner.

Communication is the key to a good relationship. If you don’t talk to your partner, resentment will grow with you partner and eventually result in an all out conflict. If talking to one another doesn’t work then maybe it means trying a counsellor or therapist to move things in a positive direction. If that doesn’t work then maybe it is time to see a sex therapist as there maybe problems that are deep rooted that even you are not aware of. I am afraid to say though if all else fails then it may just mean that a relationship has run its course and it is time to say goodbye. It maybe a sad moment but sex is an important part of your life and a relationship and you must enjoy it.

 5. Body Complex

No one is ever one hundred percent satisfied with their own body as I have covered in other parts of my website. It maybe those extra large love-handles or those bingo wings or maybe even an issue with your small breasts. The truth is that to feel positive about sex then you must be happy with your own body. As I have said we all have imperfections (perceived or real) and it time to accept them and live with them. If you can’t then you may need to take some further action.

Read my article on how to build your self esteem and improve you body image.

6. Getting Older

Age catches up with us all and does take a toll on our bodies. There is a loss of bone mass, susceptibility to illness, painful joints, grey hair, sagging flesh and the list goes on.

Menopause and decreased testosterone (yes in women too) production are the reasons for decrease in libido but fear, anxiety and depression from aging can contribute too.

If you are going through the menopause, it is important that you understand the changes taking place in your own body. It may mean seeking out your doctor about treatment for the physical changes that are taking place and affecting the sex drive. The use of Estrogens in any forms can increase blood flow to the vagina and increase arousal thus leading to increased desire. Hormone therapy that includes low dose androgens has been shown to be particularly effective at increasing low libido. There may even be something as easy as the use of lubricants to get an immediate effect if you are experiencing vaginal dryness.

7. Sexual Abuse

Those people that have been unfortunate to suffer sexual abuse can later then have a difficult time with physical intimacy. It is a natural reaction and it takes time and understanding for both the mind and boy to deal with these painful experiences, but there is little attention paid to our sexuality. Please if this applies to you know that many people who have suffered sexual assault have gone on to have healthy and full sexual relationships. It takes time, patience, understanding and some counselling. This cannot be rushed and you must take your time and only become intimate when you are ready too! Never ever let anyone pressure you into something you feel uncomfortable about.

8. Medication

It is widely known that the effect of birth control pills (also when combined with oral contraceptives) leads to a lowered libido. The decreased androgen production or lowered testosterone levels can cause women to experience a lower libido and less vaginal lubrication.

There are other medications that also dampen desire such as tranquilisers, high blood pressure pills and mood stabilizer amongst many. It must also be noted that even mediation that isn’t anyway connected to sexual; arousal can have an adverse affect on sexual desire. When talking to your doctor about any new medication and finding that it may alter your libido it might be best to ask if there maybe a viable alternative.

Depression seems to be a part of modern life. If you are feeling down and cannot shake the feeling it may mean you have depression. If you feel this way then it maybe time to see you doctor. Depression will make many people listless, drowsy, sad, angry, upset and very emotional. Depression will have a very noticeable effect on libido. It is known that as many as seventy five percent of people with depression also suffer a lowered sex drive.

The very drugs that are used to treat depression (MAOI’s, SSRI’s and tricyclics) can also lead to sexual dysfunction, such as a delay in orgasm and lead to an adverse affect on the level of sexual desire.

There have been changes in the last few years that have given hope to people in this situation. There are drugs such as Viagra(r) with antidepressants. Then there may be the use of herbal remedies such a Ginkgo Bilboa, which is thought to help with lack of desire related to taking Paxil or other antidepressants. The there may also be Wellbutrin that has been shown to combat reduced sexual desire.

Please, though whatever you decide or look into always consult you doctor before any changing of medication or stopping your medications.

9. Medical Problems

There are many numbers of medical disorders that can lower libido such as a thyroid problem or hormone deficiency (especially in older people). A metabolic disorder; anything that adversely affects you metabolism (including an eating disorder, accident, trauma or illness) will obviously cause a lowered libido; it is also true to note that one in five American women have hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD), more comely know as a low sex drive. If you have ruled out all other reasons to why you have a low sex drive then consult you doctor. You may have a readily curable medical condition.

Conclusion

There isn’t such a thing as a normal libido we are all different and have different sex drives. If you feel frustrated by lack of sexual appetite, take it easy. . Your personal sense of

normality is defined by how you feel about your sexuality and whether or not you’re happy with how you are expressing it. If you are comfortable about your sexuality then congratulations; if however you feel that you may need a gentle push; then explore the remedies suggested here. There is though no miracle cure some of the suggestions here have worked for other people but may not work for you. It may just take time and patience. It may mean just going solo for a while with a sex toy or eating a piece of chocolate. Hey girls chocolates is an aphrodisiac after all!